Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Works for me Wednesday - Backwards day

This weeks' Works for me Wednesday is about having your questions asked, instead of providing tips to others. I would appreciate any help.

Discipline ideas for a 10 yr old boy needed.

I have a very bright 10 yr old only child.
He is also very argumentative, impulsive, has attitude, speaks to adults with a tone, talks back etc...
This is the scope of his behaviour problems -he is not doing any other things (hitting, swearing etc..)
He is constantly getting in trouble in and out of school for these things. He is creating a reputation for himself - one not so flattering.

The usual punishment for this type of behaviour is grounding, which means he cannot use his electronics (computer, video games). the length of grounding depends on the offense - anywhere from a day to a week.
This punishment no longer seems to be a deterent.

Some background info - we moved this summer, so we are in a new neighbourhood and a new school. It has been difficult for him - but this is making things worse.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can better handle this? We have taken away what he likes best and still this behaviour is escalating. We have to nip this in the bud.

For more questions, pop over to Rocks in my Dryer.


Anne Glamore said...

I don't have specific ideas, but in general I think John Rosemond's parenting books are good.

happygeek said...

I don't have a 10 year old (taught lots though, fun age) but the book I use LOTS and has lots of stuff for kids of all ages is "creative Correction" by Lisa Whechel (probably murdered her last name) in the back it is indexed by "issues" so you can just look up your particular issue and she has bunches of different suggestions that have worked for various people.
Until it went on sale, we used to just take it out from the library a lot.

Mom2fur said...

First of all, I feel sorry for your son. A new home and new school? No wonder he has an attitude! He doesn't understand that these things just happen in life. I bet he misses his old buddies!
Is there any way you could plan visits to the old neighborhood, or is it too far away? I'm thinking a positive incentive like this could work a lot better than negative reinforcement like grounding.
What I found with mine, when they were young, is sometimes they didn't even realize their tone of voice. I would tell them the right way to say something. Instead of a whiny, "I don't like such-and-such," I'd repeat it back in a more casual tone of voice: "no thanks, I really don't like such and such." And then if they said something in a civil tone of voice, I did my best to pay attention!
Just try to remember: Positive reinforcement for positive behavior.
And also remember: some day, he'll be a wonderful 24 year old!

Oh, and this won't make me very popular, but...from what I've read of Lisa Welchel's book, some of her 'techniques' border on child abuse. Just MHO!