Friday, 1 August 2008

Friday Fodder

My family and I are off to the beach today, so while we are sunning ourselves to crispiness and frolicking in the waves, you can ponder some of the stuff that floats around in my brain.

  • Which is worse, reaching for your coffee cup and finding it empty or reaching for it, taking that last gulp and finding it ice cold?
  • You should be allowed to smack people that slurp every single sip of their coffee.
  • Why do people who whistle assume I want to hear them whistle? Do you want to hear me sing?
  • To my chiropractor and my hair stylist…this is the closest thing I get to a massage. Please don’t be chatty I'm trying to relax.
  • To the guy in front of me at the post office…it is pronounced Fra jial…..not Fra geelly.
  • It is not ok to park your cart in the middle of the aisle – whether at Wally mart or the grocery store…move over!
  • Etiquette classes should be mandatory for all kids…I hate to see a collage grad holding his fork in a fist. I don’t care how many degrees you have, you look like an idiot when you do that.
  • Common sense really isn’t common anymore.
  • Someone told me I had too many grey hairs and that I was fat. I told them they were ugly and that I can lose weight and colour my hair but ugly is permanent.
  • Why does my dumb dog eat, gag and them vomit up rubber bands…and then do it all over again 10 minutes later?
  • Why are people willing to pay $5 for a daily Starbucks coffee, but freak out and complain when gas goes up 2 cents?
  • Why can my husband remember what song was released Aug 12, 1974 but cannot tell me what he had for lunch yesterday?
  • For years when we were first married, my husband asked me to do things a certain way (e.g., unplug toaster). Now that I do them that way, he doesn’t.
  • You know how you put on a bra backwards, hook it up and then swing it around? I had a cousin who once forgot to swing it around :)
  • Once at work, I found a nylon knee-high stuck to the inside of my sweater. I also found a dryer sheet in my underwear – (yes once they were on!) but this was before I left home.
  • When I invite people over at a specific time, I expect them to arrive at that time not an hour or two later. Also, when they invite me over at a specific time and I arrive on time, I expect them to have finished cleaning and showering before I arrive.
  • Why is what I grew up with as Geography now called Social studies? What happened to the Brontosaurus and why isn’t Pluto a planet anymore?
  • My father hated the new math (that I was taught), where I had to show every step of my work – he though I should get extra points for being able to do it in my head and still get the correct answer.
  • I went to my community church once. They have called me 9 times to see how I liked it and if I am coming back. I am not going back.


Nancy said...

I LOVED this post!!! And all are so true, too!!! Did you think these up or get them from somewhere? Either way, they were great!!!

Enjoy the beach and the waves! You'll be red when you return home and I'm already green! LOL (Red from the sun and green from envy!)

Kim said...

These all came out of my own warped lil mind :D

Vickie LeBlanc said...

Kim - as always, you made me laugh so much when I read this post.

Waitress from Mensa said...

Appropos of the knee high in the sweater, I returned from a date once to find that a shoulder pad had moved from its rightful spot and was velcroed to the inside of my sweater just over the breast! Ha!