Wednesday, 3 November 2010

That time of year again...

The dreaded yearly physical.

So yesterday I had my yearly physical.

The boys were away hunting so I had to take public transit. My Dr's office is about 2 kms away but it was very cold so I decided to take the bus. Because I live in a small town, the busses do loops and do not travel both ways - so to get to where I needed to be, I had to ride the bus approx. 6km, switch busses in downtown, ride the 2nd bus another 6 km to reach my destination that was ony 2 km away from where I originally caught the bus - you get that?

After the 30 minute bus rides, I arrive at my Dr office 30 minutes early.

The nurse calls me in to weight me - I weight too much, to take my blood pressure - it is too high and to measure my waist - it is too big.

Then I get taken into the exam room where I am given a serviette and a paper towel to cover up with. Why do they bother? I put on the paper gown which actually covers the front of me but leaves my back end hanging in the breeze.

The Dr comes in and she does the regular physical exam and chitchat. Then comes time for the Pap test. Let's get this over with. I lay back and look at the poster of a freaky monkey on the ceiling with the caption "I need to relax" Cute.

The little swing lamp the Dr uses to see what she is doing is being finicky and keeps shutting off by itself. She tries to fix it. She is still prefoming the Pap test. She suddenly says "hang on, I'm going to get the nurse to hold a light for me". She leaves the room with me in this lovely position. It is actually the receptionist she brings back ACK!!! to hold the light. I do not make eye contact with anyone. I stare at the goofy monkey on the ceiling, pretending my bits are not on display to this woman who is not my Dr. The Pap is finished, the receptionist leaves.

The Dr leaves so I can dress, ya like I have any dignity left.

When she returns she asks if I want a flu shot - sure, I usually get one.

She asks when my last tetanus shot was. I can't recall, so she decides I should have one. So bad memory equals lots of shots.

I also have to schedule a mammogram as it has been 2 yrs since my last one and I have a family history of breast cancer. Great I get to have the girls squished again.

I go see the nurse again to get my 2 shots.

I have fasted since the previous night so I go down to the lab for my blood work. It isn't too bad this time - only get poked once. I have very deep slippery veins and I usually get poked several times before they decide to take the blood from my hand which hurts like a ....

I also have to get an EKG since I am over 40. Off with the top half of clothes again - paper sheet over me. The technician sticks 9 sticky things all over me, attaches the electrodes or whatever and a couple minutes later rips off the sticky things and tells me I am done. I redress and thankfully head home.

I left the house at 8:10am and return at 11am. Not too bad and I am done for another whole year...well except for the mammogram.

Later in the afternoon my boys return home. I tell my needle-fearing son I got the flu shot - he is 13 now and swears he can decide for himself and he is NOT getting the flu shot this year. I say fine, and that he should be really thankful that he is not female as the flu shot would be the least of his worries!

1 comment:

Gill - That British Woman said...

wow at least you were able to get all that done in just three hours and in the one place.

We must be twins though, as I too am overweight, have high blood pressure, and my waist....well what is a waist????